As a former lit student and eternal rampallian, I’ve long admired the Bard’s colorful and creative insults. This page-a-day calendar has 365 of the best of them, so you can read through long-forgotten lines from Shakespeare’s plays while you check the date (which I find remembering even more challenging than deciphering Old English). And should your honor ever be challenged, you’ll be ready to tell that “threadbare juggler” or “poisonous bunch-backed toad” just what a “lump of foul deformity” they are.

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